neveryourb0yfriend:

sext: so what Brand New song makes you feel the most dead inside?

officialfrenchtoast:

It’s a metaphor, see: you hold a pen with your homework in front of you, but you don’t do it, you don’t give it the power to do its killing

alwaysfaithfulterriblelizard:

you know how the sentence “i never said she stole my money” has a different meaning depending on which word you put the stress on? same is true of “have you ever had sex with a pharaoh?” i’ve been thinkin about that for like 10 minutes now

therealhamster:

being interrupted mid sentence

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Seduce them with your intelligence, then kill them with your smile.
—Unknown  (via blackbruise)

beauxbatons:

when im dead sext me through a ouija board

When you slowly start hating someone you were friends with.

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ridge:

80% chance he’s referring to anal

ghostkitten69:

awwww-cute:

My brother’s cat, Otis. He sat like this for 15 minutes, totally transfixed. Every time they would roar, he meowed back

dream big, Otis

browngirlinterrupted:

don’t check up on people who have decided you are not in their picture anymore. you don’t need to know how they’re doing. save yourself the trouble, seriously.